Even When it Hurts

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” -Romans 8:18

I believe that faith comes in waves. I feel sometimes we feel right in tune with God and can see His hand in everything going on around us. We get the promotion, our kids aren’t acting up, our money is going further than usual… The list goes on and on.

However, the opposite of this is true as well. Sometimes, it seems so hard to make sense of things. We see the events in our lives as pointless and meaningless. We see the events of our world and ask questions like, “God, why is this happening?”

I feel, in light of the deaths that occurred this week, we lean more toward the second. The deaths of Philando Castile, Alton Sterling and the Dallas Police Officers hit all of us in some way or another. As a member of the human race, senseless violence against one of our own should hit us hard. It doesn’t make sense. It hurts.

The tension that is present due to the racial divide is present, and felt by all. It seems there is always a battle between groups in America: black vs. white, police vs. white, gay vs. straight, immigrants vs. Americans… You get the idea.

All this talk of murder, hate, walls, violence, protest, and anger is hard to stomach. It makes me, as a follower of Christ, ask, “Will there ever be peace? Will there ever be unity? Was there ever unity to begin with?”

At this time in America, I feel helpless and hurting. My heart breaks for people who feel profiled and victimized. My heart breaks for families who go home to an empty spot at the dinner table, and for kids who cannot say goodnight to their dads. My heart breaks for wives and husbands of officers who have to worry all day and night that their spouse will make it through their shift.

My heart longs for peace. My heart longs for change. I want to wake up from this nightmare we call America today.

However, with all that said, I have to remember one thing: My job isn’t to make sense of God’s plan, but rather, to trust Him through it.

We were created to worship. Worship isn’t finding God useful, but finding Him beautiful. It is so easy to look at the events of this week and become hopeless. It is actually harder to do the opposite, and to see God’s beauty in this. Frankly, we may not understand what God is up to until we are with Him.

The headlines will keep coming. The violence won’t stop. But that doesn’t mean God isn’t working. Just because what we see doesn’t make sense doesn’t mean that God isn’t working. As hard as this is, we need to keep praying, keep believing change is near, and keep worshipping God. That’s what we can do. That’s what we can control.

“Even when the fight seems lost, I’ll praise You. Even when it hurts like hell, I’ll praise you. Even when it makes no sense to sing, louder then I’ll sing your praise. I will only sing your praise.” 


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